Father Time is a weekly column dedicated to the concept of time in a parent’s life, particularly a father’s life. The point of view comes from a father of two young sons, both under three-years-old, and how time really is just that: a concept.
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I haven’t been to church in ages (I grew up Catholic and am now a lost sheep), and have only recently been dabbling in Buddhism—reading a few sutras here and there. But I have to say, something in my head is opening up, and it was evident when, just last week, I felt enlightened.
What makes a religion (or any spiritual philosophy) so challenging is maintaining that feeling of enlightenment for longer than say, a few minutes. |
Enlightenment, according to Buddhism, is an awareness of attaining spiritual knowledge or insight that will free an individual from rebirth. Translation: realizing you’ve got it all figured out and are cool with it. Enlightenment, as it turns out, can happen after years and years of contemplation and practice, or it can happen in the blink of an eye. As though one day you could be going about your business, then realize, “Damn, it’s all going to be okay.”
I like this idea, but I believe we as humans weave into and out of enlightenment many times in a given day, maybe even in a given hour. What makes a religion (or any spiritual philosophy) so challenging is maintaining that feeling of enlightenment for longer than say, a few minutes. You can feel great during a church service, but get back in your car and you’re soon road raging.
For me, it was a genuine internal feeling that manifested in what I was doing, saying, and how I was responding to those around me. It happened at my cousins’ home. They had invited my family over for Sunday dinner, and to have a belated birthday party for my one-year old son. It’s hard for me to describe what I physically felt that evening, other than I had a distinct sense of calm and ease which I haven’t felt, either in a long time, or ever.
Unlike the feeling of calm one gets from meditation, prayer, or simply relaxing, I was actively being present with my family and children, and enjoying the meal and engaging in the conversation. Maybe it was the right mix of people, or maybe everyone was just in a good mood that day, but whatever it was, everything felt right. The best way to describe the sensation is that I wasn’t working against myself. I was in tune. Balanced. Not resisting.
Every moment is war and peace, and it’s the inside world that’s constantly seeking stasis. We need our dark sides to keep our shine strong, though it’s that shine that feeds and nourishes us.
Every moment is war and peace, and it’s the inside world that’s constantly seeking stasis. We need our dark sides to keep our shine strong, though it’s that shine that feeds and nourishes us. |
It passed, of course, and as the week went on, I fell into states of stress and other mild despairs. Even though that Sunday evening feeling is now memory, it’s a distinct one—a physical place with its own sensations and energies. I’m just trying to find the map on how to get back there.
Being aware of that place reminds me that being a husband, father, member of a family unit, is hard work. Every moment is war and peace, and it’s the inside world that’s constantly seeking stasis. We need our dark sides to keep our shine strong, though it’s that shine that feeds and nourishes us. It warms and empowers us, and allows us to be the best man we can be.
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Photo credit: Robert Couse-Baker.
The post The Moment of Enlightenment appeared first on The Good Men Project.
